the world is loosely divided into two camps: those who will read this post and laugh hysterically (or at least snicker a couple times) and those who will click away in disgust.
in which camp do you pitch a tent?
1. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
2. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
3. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly. (i found the notion of someone smuggling a cantaloupe INTO a public washroom and then getting somewhere 6-8 feet above the toilet funny in and of itself)
4. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
5. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
6. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!" (particularly enchanting if you're a woman. although generally funny despite anything else, cuz i don't know about you, but i don't tend to have carbonated or flourescent pee)
7. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters."
8. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?" (again, more hilarious to me is the fact that someone took the time to put peanut butter into a little tube...!)
9. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. (i suggest the surfer tune, 'wipeout')
10. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. (i think even funnier would be a baked bean recipe...while muttering 'never again')
12. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
